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Sunday, January 22, 2012

'"Just because you think it....DOESN'T mean you speak it"

We all know how the old saying goes "Speak No Evil....Hear No Evil....See No Evil." But my question is how many of us actually apply this to our everyday lives? As kids our parents teach us "Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us!" YEAH...right! That has to be the farthest thing from the truth.

As kids we've all experienced some form of bullying one way or another. I know I would do as my parents have taught me and just shrug it off because people can be mean, and I know all those things about me aren't true. But did I really know those things weren't true or was I just going through the motions to please my parents? Over the years I have come to see that it isn't the things other people say about me or may call me that hurts me. It's the things that I say to myself that do the most damage. See subconsciously hearing all types of negative comments growing up from my peers and even my own family truly left an imprint on my psyche. Its crazy because as much confidence as I have gained in myself throughout the years I had failed to realize just how often I down talk myself to myself.

This past Friday I woke up in the greatest of moods. I was truly filled with so much joy and just full of the spirit. I went into work with a smile on my face and an extra pep in my step determined to make this a truly "Fabulous Friday!" One of my best friends and I started our usual daily conversation with our good morning pleasantries and inspirations. As our conversation went on I began to express my new found admiration for a mutual acquaintance of ours. I went on to tell her how I was so intrigued with his spirituality,motivation,and just his overall abundance of positivity that he displays day in & day out. Just as soon as she expressed her words of encouragement and agreement about this gentleman I immediately responded with "But I know he is out of my league!" And within an instant my entire mood,demeanor,and thought process began to change. I mentally started to pick myself a part and list off the reasons why a man like that could never be interested in a woman like me. Little by little I felt all of that joy and excitement I just had start to dwindle away. Just before I was completely engulfed in my own "pity party" my messages went off and my best friend said, "Hey DON'T you down yourself like that. You are just as worthy of a man like that as the next chick is!" And within that instant it finally hit me......I have been self sabotaging my own growth by allowing such thoughts to not only enter my head or write them, but actually uttering those words aloud to myself. I understood the power of words, but I underestimated the power of MY WORDS.

Any written or spoken words can lift us up, drag us down, wound us deeply or heal our hearts. Every time I would allow that feeling of self doubt to creep in and take over me mentally I was giving my words the power to break my confidence. My words can make or break me at any given moment. I had to take a step back and ask myself..."Ebony, what have you been saying lately? Are you encouraging or discouraging yourself? Or are you causing the destruction of your self-esteem by speaking ill suited words over yourself, your health your prosperity, and self worth?" By asking myself these simple questions it became evident to me that I didn't need any outside enemies because I was my own worst enemy from within. As much a I am perceived to be overly confident from the outside looking in I am in fact the exact opposite. I would look in the mirror and constantly nit pick and criticize each and ever flaw that I saw instead of seeing the beautiful,strong,black woman that God had made in his own image.

As I have began to grow spiritually I go to the best source for GREAT advice....THE BIBLE! Two of my favorite points of reference comes from Ephesians 4:29 & Proverbs 18:21) :
         "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.(Ephesians 4:29"
          “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).

Every day we are shaping reality for ourselves, as well as, others by the words that we use. The choice is ours. Ask yourself.....What impact will my words have?