I know everyone hollas "New Year...New Me" but I call bulls*it every time I hear that! I've been guility of saying this but as I've gotten older I've come to realize there is no need to proclaim or completely try and change the "old you." How about stop lying to yourself and admit the necessary changes that need to made to the old you. THIS WAS THE HARDEST LESSON FOR ME TO LEARN! Admitting my faults to myself. But as I have grown I have to come to realize that that is the easy part. Actually changing those habits is what takes the hardest work.
But 2012 marks a milestone for me! YES, I am turning the BIG 3-0! *insert gasp* LOL! But as many women approach this age they start feeling as if their going down hill....losing value.....rushing because that biological clock is ticking. ME.....nuh uh! None of that! I am ready for it! I think leaving my 20s is the best thing that could happen to me! I have done and seen so many things so far in my life and I would not change any moment. I did all my foolishness in my 20s that you are suppose to do! BOY WAS THERE SOME FOOLISH TIMES....BUT VERY GREAT TIMES NONETHELESS! This next phase of my life brings with it so much opportunity and uncharted territory. Embracing getting older means you embrace the lifestyle change that comes along with it. Clubbing....yeah that is almost non-existent in my life! Its just something about sitting on my couch with a bowl of ice cream and Law & Order SVU on that intrigues me more than being out wiht a bunch of strangers in a hot..packed club! Shoot...I can get the same buzz hear the same music at home for FREE! And not have to worry bout any uninvited booty grabbing*WINK*
Going into this next phase as a single woman is a HUGE thing. I honestly didn't expect that but everything works itself out in its own time. My "dating" life...well to put it nicely.... SUCKS GIGANTIC MONKEY BALLS these past few years. BUT I have not given up hope on the dating scene. I have realized that my choice in men has been a little shitty to say the least. At the end of the day I don't blame them for the outcome. I blame myself. See I was looking for something in another person that I could only give myself. We as women do this too many times. We can't expect another human to make us happy when we truly are not happy within ourselves. If we continue to entertain the same type of men then we shouldn't be surprised when we get the same result. And ladies...lets be real...if a man has that WERK we usually stick and around and put up with a bunch of BS that under any other circumstance we would have given him those walking papers long ago! I call this "BLINDED BY DA D!" It happens to the best of us. We finally wake up one day and think "WTF are you doing....why are you putting yourself in a situation that clearly is not the best for YOU!" It's crazy how long it takes for that light bulb to finally cut the hell on for us sometimes. Looking back over some of my recent decisions I swear my electricity was cut off on my lights cuz DAMN it took it a long time for my light bulb to pop on! But I'm surely glad it did!
Woooooooo, ok I think that's enough for today! I must admit writing my thoughts out this way felt pretty darn good. I have so much more to discuss/express on my life! We shall do this again.....until next time BESOS!!!!
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